Golly, 5G: Apple’s big marketing tool is not all there yet

You might have missed this during Apple’s “Hi, Speed” event last week about the iPhone 12, because the Macalope isn’t sure if the company mentioned it or not, but at long last you can buy an iPhone and enjoy the blazing speeds delivered by 5G.

Right?

Right?

Hang on, the Macalope’s intern is staring at him.

What is it, Carl? It’s always something with this kid, swear to God.

Oh. Huh. The Macalope is being informed that may not be the case for, uh, well, most everyone.

Yes, turns out a funny thing happened on the way to the colosseum, which Verizon CEO Hans Vestberg insisted during Apple’s event we’ll all be back in soon so you’d better get those high-speed phones now.

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